Routine, Routine, and Routine

A Routine Is All That Matters
The below article is written by one of the co-founder of Fairy Angel Shop, and is purely based on her sleep training experience of a seven month old baby.

In the older days, babies are raised by baby-led schedules. We are brought up like this, sleep and feed as and when we want to. We call the shots. So, what does a baby-led schedule means?

A baby-led schedule simply means a baby decides themselves, when do they want to sleep, to feed, to play. Parents just need to go according to the baby's cues - put them down onto the bed when they are tired, feed them when they are hungry and play with them when they are wide awake.

A question to ponder - should the new generation babies be raised in this manner too? Is there a need to introduce a schedule?

The answer is "YES"! There is a need to introduce a routine for babies, and starting as early as 6 weeks old, if possible. The earlier, the better and never too late to start! I did not start a routine with my baby until she was nearly five months' old. Before this, she is cranky whenever it comes to nap time and bed time. She would not go to sleep even when she is tired. As she could not sleep well during the day and affecting the night sleep, she would have several night wakings. This is really exhausting for me and my husband to sleep less than 4 hours throughout the entire night. This lasted for more than four months.

Being a new mother, I am pretty much concern about my baby's sleep. I wanted her to nap and sleep well for development and growth. Hence, I decided, one day, to spent a few days and nights, observing her habits, and draft up a routine for her. My routine looks like this:

0630hrs/0700hrs: Wake up
0730hrs: Feed
0745hrs-0845hrs: Activity (read a book, tummy time, a stroll, etc)
0900hrs: Morning nap
1000hrs: Wake up
1000hrs-1100hrs: Activity
1100hrs: Bath time
1130hrs: Feed
1200hrs: Afternoon nap
1430hrs: Wake up
1430hrs-1530hrs: activity
1530hrs-1600hrs: Feed
1630hrs-1730hrs: Evening nap
1730hrs: take a stroll
1900hrs: Feed
1930hrs: Fetch baby home
2000hrs: reach home
2015hrs-2030hrs: wash up, change into pyjamas
2030hrs-2045hrs: read a story
2100hrs: Sleep

Having to make a baby stick to a routine is not an easy task, but all it takes is time and patience. Do the same activity at the same timing everyday would help a baby adapt to the routine. Babies like predictability. They like to know what would happen next instead of having surprises. Having said this, we need to incorporate some flexibility in the routine in order to work best. Cultivate the habit to talk "with" your baby, not "at" your baby everyday, on the things that you want to do with him, even though your baby cannot fully understand what you are saying. For instance, during change of diapers, do speak to your baby ,"We are going to change your diapers, and I am going to hold your legs up."

I have come across some parents who are strong advocates in imposing a very strict routine on their babies, that in my opinion, would cause back-fire. Why do I say this? Think about this - an older baby can be fed once every four hours. Given a routine, a baby would be fed four hours later starting from the previous feeding time. However, babies do get hungry earlier than the scheduled timing at times (adults too!), and the parents strictly only allow them to feed once the clock strikes the 4th hour! What do they get in the end? A resentful, upset, wailing and grouchy baby. So, it is important that parents who introduce a routine for their babies need to be flexible. Going too strict by the scheduled timing sometimes would do more harm than good for the little one. And, they are still little babies!

There are three types of routines - baby-led, parent-baby combination and parent-led. Baby-led schedules are preferred over the options for parents who have a hectic schedule to adhere to a routine. A combination routine allows more space of flexibility to fit and meet both the needs of the parents and baby. Lastly, the parent-led schedule is more of trying to train a baby to fit into the needs of the parent. I prefer the parent-baby combination routine. It works for me and my baby and we are all happy.

Then, where and how should we draft a plan? Do some logs for daily activities, nap time and bed time, for a period of 10 days. Observe how your little one eats, sleeps and play during the day. There has to be some patterns after some observations. From there, you can easily determine the time when your baby usually exhibit cues of sleepiness (i.e. yawns, 7-mile stare, rubbing the eyes). Always remember, activities within thirty minutes to an hour before nap or bed time has to be quiet, calm and relax. Over stimulation would only result in a more wakeful baby. Give a warm bath, read a story and a last milk feed. Repeat this every night. Over time, your baby would know that he has to go to sleep at that hour!

A piece of advice - when your baby yawns for the first time, try to slow things down and put him to bed. Missed the first yawn? Okay! At least the third yawn. There is a window period that a baby tells you that "Hey, I need to sleep." Ignoring or missing this window would make him wail, and perhaps, you need to wait for another hour or two before he is sleepy again. Putting down a baby at the first exhibit of sleepiness also helps him to drift off to sleep and encourages self-soothing.

Still sleep-deprived? Thinking of resorting to the Cry-It-Out method? Okay. Some parents have the mis-understanding of this method that it teaches them to leave the baby to cry to sleep. Wrong! The method refers to letting the baby cry for extended periods of time, but no more than 30 minutes. So how do we do this?

Put your baby down onto his crib after the last feed and diaper change, say goodnight to him, pat him a little, till he slowly drifts off to sleep. Leave the room. If he cries, do not go to him immediately. Wait for 5 minutes and enter the room. Pat him a little to calm him down, say goodnight. Leave the room. If he cries, wait for 7 minutes before you enter the room to calm him down. Repeat this for extended time each round. Slowly, your baby would eventually catch the hint and go to sleep. This needs weeks of training though. Be patient and you WILL see the results.

I shall stop here as the post is pretty long. Do you have any other questions or areas of concern on a baby's sleep? Leave a comment and I would try to answer them.

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Simplyluvbb
www.fairyangelshop.com
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